Rebirth After Loss: Healing the Silent Grief of Miscarriage, Stillbirth, Abortion, and Unmet Motherhood
The grief of miscarriage, stillbirth, abortion, infertility, and unmet motherhood is often unspoken, yet it lingers in the body, mind, and heart. Many women navigating pregnancy loss or the pain of not becoming a mother feel alone, struggling with emotions like grief, anger, guilt, or self-doubt. But this pain is real, and healing is possible. Not by forgetting, but by honouring your experience and finding ways to integrate your loss into your life.
The Unspoken Grief of Reproductive Loss
If you’ve experienced pregnancy loss or the inability to conceive, you may have been met with silence or uncomfortable platitudes, "everything happens for a reason" or "you can always try again", that don’t acknowledge the depth of your pain. Society struggles to hold space for this kind of grief, making it difficult to know where to turn.
Yet grief that isn’t spoken or processed doesn’t simply fade. Unprocessed emotions are stored in the nervous system, shaping how we experience stress, relationships, and even physical health (van der Kolk, 2014). Women who have experienced reproductive loss often describe feeling tension in their lower abdomen, chronic fatigue, digestive issues, menstrual and pelvic issues, or a deep, undefined sorrow they can’t quite explain.
Your emotions deserve space. Your loss is valid. You are not broken.
"Grief is the reflection of the love that once was." – Unknown
How Grief is Held in the Body
Grief is not just emotional; it has a profound physiological impact. Research shows that loss and trauma can affect the body's stress response, increasing inflammation and disrupting hormone regulation (Glover, 2014). This may be why so many women experience irregular cycles, tension or growths in the pelvic area, or even a sense of numbness and disconnection.
Ancient healing traditions have long recognised this connection. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), grief is believed to disrupt the flow of Qi (life force energy), particularly in the lungs and womb. Practices like acupressure, acupuncture, breathwork, and mindful movement have been used for centuries to help release stored sorrow and restore balance.
A Simple Somatic Practice for Emotional Release
If you feel a heaviness in your body, especially around your belly, chest, or throat, here’s a gentle way to begin processing stored grief:
Find a quiet space. Sit or lie down comfortably with your hands resting on your lower belly.
Take an easy full breathe into the space underneath your hands. Inhale through your nose, feeling your belly expand, then your chest. Exhale slowly through your mouth, as if sighing making a sound as if it’s coming from your gut .
Gently hum, sigh or ideally make a “vooo” sound on the exhalation. Sound vibrations help release tension stored in the diaphragm and nervous system, stimulating the vagus nerve.
Allow all the breath and sound to go out. Then allow a new breath to fill the belly and chest, and then continue with your sound. Repeat for a few minutes or until you feel complete.
Emotions, sensations, thoughts and memories may arise. Place one hand on your heart. As you breathe, say to yourself: "I honour my Feelings (name them). I honour my body. I give myself permission, space and time to heal."
Notice what arises. Tears, warmth, or even numbness. All are signs your body is processing.
This is not about "fixing" grief. You’re not broken for grieving. It’s about making space for what is already there, so it no longer has to be held so tightly.
If you feel ready to explore deeper healing, somatic therapy for grief and loss can support you.
Releasing Trauma Through Somatic & EMDR Therapy
When loss remains unresolved, it can shape our nervous system’s patterns of safety and survival. Some women notice that after pregnancy loss, failed fertility cycles or abortion, they struggle with anxiety, hypervigilance, or emotional numbness. This is because the body holds onto unprocessed trauma as a way to protect us from further pain (Scaer, 2007).
Somatic therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) for reproductive trauma can help:
Reconnect with your body in a safe, gentle way.
Process emotions without overwhelm.
Release stored trauma from the nervous system.
Find a sense of peace and wholeness.
If you’ve been carrying the weight of pregnancy loss, abortion, or unmet motherhood, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Discover how somatic and EMDR therapy can help.
A New Conversation: Honouring Women’s Reproductive Journeys
It’s time to change the way we speak about reproductive grief. Every woman’s story is unique, but one truth remains: these experiences deserve to be seen, honoured, and healed.
This blog is part of a series exploring the many layers of reproductive grief, from unmet motherhood to pregnancy loss, abortion, and how shifting hormones impact emotional healing.
Continue reading: Unmet Motherhood: Healing the Silent Grief of Childlessness and Infertility.
Book a session to begin your healing journey in a safe, nurturing space.
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Your grief matters. Your healing matters. You are not alone.